It’s been quite a year, hasn’t it? I’m not the best at blogging in general, but I’ve been particularly bad as of late. This year has just been so crazy, the world was flipped upside down. A lot of plans didn’t pan out this year, not just for me but for everyone. Unfortunately, I didn’t get as much writing done as I would’ve liked – I intended to have the third book of the Danethrall Trilogy out this year and that didn’t happen. Unfortunately, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

In 2019, my uncle died after an accident, and we lost a dear friend to a heart attack. In 2020, my husband’s stepdad died from Covid 19. I’m thankful to live near my husband’s family, they have always been wonderful and welcoming to me, but these deaths have reminded me how difficult it is to live so far from my family, and the friends I grew up with.

My family has always been spread out. I have family not just in England, but Wales, Northern Ireland, Scotland, New Zealand, Japan and Thailand, as well; on top of the American family I inherited by marrying my husband.

Due to the distance, I can’t say I was ridiculously close to my family – not like how close my husband is to his. All of them have lived in the same neighbourhood all their lives, all just a stone’s throw from each other. Obviously, they’re very close because of this.

Regardless of the fact I’ve always lived so far from my family, my heart aches for them – in fact, I think it aches a little bit more because I’ve never had that tight-knit bond. We love each other a lot, and I’m sad that my children don’t know them. 2020 was meant to be the year we could travel to the UK and introduce our children to my family, but obviously it was not meant to be.

I’m trying to find silver linings.

In July 2019, my husband moved back home after living away in different states for work for around two years. Those years he was away were hard, the children and I only saw him one or two weekends a month if we were lucky, and at one point we went four months straight without seeing him at all. The 2020 lockdown meant he had to work from home, which was so welcomed after he was gone for so long. The children began homeschooling in March (which was chaos unto itself), but all six of us were together at home, and that is wonderful.

There’s no end in sight for this lockdown, the children might be returning to full-time school at the end of January, depending on how everything goes in Michigan, but a large part of me doubts that. Either way, I’m thankful we’re together, even if all six of us are miserable about homeschooling, haha.

Another silver lining; I found a new hobby during all this. With the craziness of the current atmosphere, I haven’t been able to focus and write. Instead, I got lost in video games – an escape, to be sure. Ignoring the outside world and immersing myself in a virtual one. My best friend and I started streaming the games we played together, which has been great in so many ways. The biggest way is being able to spend time with her doing something we enjoy, despite being on different sides of the US.

She and I met on my 14th birthday and were inseparable from then on. We started working and living together when we were eighteen, a blissful time I look back on with so much love in my heart. Despite multiple moves and miles between us, we’ve always found a way to stay close. Maybe it was fate, but maybe a year after I moved to the US in 2014, she moved here with her husband – an amazing happenstance even though we were many states away. We celebrated 15 years of friendship this year – an incredible milestone, one I’m so lucky and thankful for.

This post ended up being a lot more depressing [and much longer] than I intended.

Honestly, we’re doing fine. We have a roof over our heads, food in the cupboards, wonderful pets to snuggle with, and of course, each other. I think the biggest lessons 2020 has taught us is to be thankful for what you have, to not take your relationships (romantic, friendships or family) for granted, to know that tomorrow might not come for some, but even through the bad times, you will make it through – it doesn’t matter if you make it through on your feet or if you have to claw yourself through it, you’ll still make it.

Good riddance, 2020. You were as much of a bitch as your predecessor.